I’ve never really been a serial dater. I’m more like meet one guy and that leads to a relationship. This is the longest I’ve ever been single (2 years). Surprisingly, I’m enjoying my me time.
So last summer, I got so bored one night that I downloaded the Tinder app my friend Sam told me about. He said it was a way to meet people. I never had any expectations but plenty of reservations. So I created my account and took a chance. After the first week, I had no matches. By the second week, things started to pick up. I got the typical hey beautiful or you are gorgeous.
I matched with some really good looking guys, some turned out to be weirdos. One guy asked how tall I was, saying shorts girls are more fun. Whatever that’s supposed to mean. Block! Another said I was beautiful for a dark skin girl WTH! Block! I matched with a white guy but his idea of approaching me was sending memes of a black girl and a white boy saying “This could be us but you playing” That’s you approach, yea ok. Block!
I came across Bobby Valentino. I had to stop and wonder why would be he on a dating app? I’m sure he has no issue meeting women. I swiped right just for kicks and we matched. Now I knew I was being catfished when he slide in my DMs, talking bout “hey beautiful.” I said you are not Bobby V. He kept insisting that he was so I said prove it. He told me to add him on Instagram and the name went to a fan page just like I thought lol. I still don’t believe it was him.
I actually met one guy, we’ll call him C. After a few weeks conversing on the app, we developed to phone conversations and eventually a date. Probably the best date I’ve ever been on, considering I haven’t been on many. We went to a nice restaurant that overlooked the city. He even had a special box of chocolates made for me with a note that said, “Hope I get to see you again.” (I was blushing all night long).
The three months with him were very short lived because I found out he was crazy. He told me he loved me after one month, even though I told him I was moving soon. WEIRD! He would tell me if I dated anyone, when I moved he would kill them (side eye). Crazy, yea he’s not around anymore. I met a few other guys on the app but none promising, so I deleted it.
Next up was Soulswipe. Someone called it the Black Tinder lol. Much better options and features. My matches kept asking for pictures, as if I was fake, but I don’t do those. One guy kept saying he wanted to have sex with me. Block! I met one guy named Mike. He seemed nice and wanted to FaceTime but would not show his face; said he had to make sure he wasn’t being catfished. After two days of texting, he asked me on a date and I kindly accepted until he asked for a favor. Now my first thought was, “Why is he asking me, a girl he just met for a favor?” I indulge in his question just to hear it. He said he wanted me to make love to him. I deleted the message and put him on mute. I was disgusted and the next morning he texted me good morning and I replied “It’s best we no longer talk, that conversation yesterday was too weird for me. Have a good life.” He kept apologizing, saying he didn’t mean it. He even asked what he could do to make it better. Block! He even messaged me on the app again. Block! (If you haven’t caught on already, Block is one of my favorite words).
E, another guy I met on the app, met me at work for a lunch date. Cute, casual and very, very PUBLIC! and that was the last time I saw him.
A few commonalities about the guys on these apps: majority of the guys are weird, no one wants to take charge and they expect women to make the first move. I can’t even begin to tell you how many messages I got with simply a phone number in it. So that’s your weak approach?; one of my guy friends said at least he’s giving you the option. I said I’ll pass. Oh and everyone is a personal trainer and from New York.
Those are just a few of my dating app dramedies. Will I meet my prince charming on a dating app? I highly doubt it, but we’ll see.
Gotta go, just got a match!